Ever since I was a little kid, I was never surrounded by any of my older cousins that I was able to look up to and brag about them like, “My cousin can do this” or, “My cousin bought me the new toy that just came out because he/she loves me.” I mean, I had older cousins but our age gap is 10 years and up. I knew I had 2nd cousins in my homeland and Australia, but I never thought I would actually get in contact with them.
Last January I found my 2nd cousins on Facebook who reside in Australia. There were 7 of them I was able to get in touch with. Three of them who are 20/22 years old, 3 more who just graduated high school, and one who thinks I’m younger than him when I’m actually older by 4 months.
And I’m kind of jealous. Jealous that I don’t live in Australia and be able to be surrounded by them. I have older cousins who can protect and watch over me if I get picked on by someone. Cousins who can tease me. I WANT to fit in with my cousins and have that bond you can’t with anyone else, but I know that will never happen. I’ve been kind of obsessed with the thought that one day I’ll travel to meet them and we can form that relationship we never got to have. But I think I’m over it, and now I don’t care about what’s going on with their lives. I gave up on the dream of flying over there and meeting them in person. They don’t care about me as much as they should and that’s because we’ve never met before. It’s all behind a screen, all the talking we’ve made.
Another thing: I was surrounded by kids 3-6 years older than me when I was little, and I always considered them as my cousins because they treated me as their family. I guess sometimes the ones you don’t share blood with are the ones you can call home.